The Things They Carried to the Jersey Shore
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Are We In A Kevin Bubble?
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Compliment Sandwich Recipes for My Fragile Ego

Directions to Christopher Nolan’s Barbecue
Wry Times

Prescriptions for Thy Modern Maladies From Me, A Plague Doctor
Points In Case

Chapter One of My Autobiography, Written in Advance to Free Up Time When I’m Extremely Busy
Points In Case

Me No Want Be Adult Neanderthal
Robot Butt

[Title Blocked Until You Pledge To My Patreon]
Points in Case

Douchebags Anonymous

A sketch I wrote and performed for Major: Undecided, a Tufts sketch group.

Senior Year Standup

Standup from senior year of college.

Tufts Banquet Speech

A banquet speech I wrote and delivered for my Tufts soccer teammates and their families at the annual year-end banquet.

NCAA Banquet Speech

A speech I wrote (delivered by my team captain) for the 2016 NCAA Final Four Banquet.

The Tufts Daily Show Archive
Archive of political satire columns I wrote for my college newspaper. I was pretty green, so I only recommend reading this after finishing the rest of the content on the Internet.